What does a monster call a girl who has three heads, nine eyes and six arms?
Cute!

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer

Knock knock! Who's there?
Boo!
Boo Who?
Ah, don't cry, Halloween is just around the corner!

How does a monster count to 11?
On his fingers.

What do you say to a 2-headed monster?
Hello, hello.

What happened to the monster that took the five o'clock train home?
He had to give it back.

What is a zombie's favorite dessert?
Ladyfingers.

What time would it be if five demons were chasing you?
Five after one.

Why do ghouls and demons hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!

Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
Because people are dying to get in.

What's a monster's favorite play?
Romeo and Ghouliet

Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
Because he was in need of a light snack

Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
Because everyone was a goblin!

What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
He was repossessed.

How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch!

What do you get when you take the circumference of your jack-o-lantern and divide it by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
Squash

Why do Jack O' Lanterns have such silly looks on their faces?
You would too if you just had all your brains scooped out!